Venture forth to find some of the best sounds from the best cartoon ever (with the possible exception of a tie with "Rocky & Bullwinkle"). C'mon, stop reading this introduction and venture already!

Before I got an account at Fortunecity, the only emails I got were complaints about broken sounds and requests to send the aforementioned sounds. Now I'm hoping that instead of that, maybe I'll get some email thanking me for having sounds they've been looking for. Or maybe even mentioning the rest of my site if I'm really lucky. Or maybe not, it's up to you.
Oh, and by the way, all of the sounds are owned by FOX.

APU

• "Yes, yes, here's your lottery ticket. Thank you for knocking over my inventory. Please, come again." (44k)
• "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a twinkie!" (34k)
• "Cowabunga!" (20k)
• "For the next five minutes, I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99." (49k)
• "It may not be glamorous, but it's good, honest work..." (44k)
• "...Ceiling mirrors and video cameras sometimes see more than who is about to shoot me." (71k)
• "Hello, I am not interested in buying the house, but I would like to use your bathroom, flip through your magazines..." (255k)
• "...Please do not offer my god a peanut..." (130k)
• "Yes I'm sorry I don't speak english, ok..." (75k)
• "...I have asked you nicely not to mangle my merchandise. Now you leave me no choice but to ask you nicely again" (55k)
• "Thank you for coming. I'll see you in hell!" (30k)

CHIEF WIGGUM

• "...Bake 'em away, toys!..." (174k)
• "Uh, no, you've got the wrong number. This is 91...2." (30k)
• "What, what, what what what what what! This better be about pizza." (32k)
• ("Enjoy Bob Saget!") "It's Bob Seger! Oh, crap!" (133k)
• ("My husband is on a murderous rampage! Over!") "Oh, well thank god that's over..." (70k)
• "Oh my god...someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispie square..." (36k)
• Mixing up DOA and DWI (205k)
• ("...Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.") "I'm proceeding on foot..." (299k)
• "Ah, just get one of those inflatable dolls. But make sure it's a woman though..." (43k)
• Pulp Fiction parody (183k)
• Wiggum learns the truth about TV radiation (206k)
• "Don't snap my undies." (11k)
• "Becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid week of training..." (151k)
• ("Y'know, one day honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops.") "Oh no, they are? Have they set a date?" (89k)
• Wiggum talking into his wallet (246k)
• ("Here is an ordinary square.") "Whoa, whoa, slow down, egghead." (44K)
• "Continue swimming naked...c'mon!..." (78k)
• "Hey, did you trace the phone number?" "Sure did, Chief. 5-5-5..." "...aw geez. That's gotta be phony." (157K)
• "...Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody - get a load of this flaming wreckage!..." (91k)

GRANDPA SIMPSON

• "Eeevil! EEEEvil!" (43k)
• "DEEEEATH!" (27k)
• "I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock..." (96k)
• "I feel all funny inside...I'm in love...no, wait - it's a stroke." (41k)
• Someone trying to kill Grandpa (69k)
• "Coma? Why I go in and out of comas all the . . . french toast please." (91k)
• Grandpa is told Matlock isn't real (85k)
• "I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong." (64k)

NED FLANDERS

• "Heighdly ho, neighborinos!" (22k)
• "...We're done diddly done for!..." (126k)
• "Okly dokly." (10k)
• "Absitively posilutely." (.au)(22k)
• "We're having a rhubarb of a pickle of a jam here." (23k)
• "Hey Simpson, I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?..." (118k)

MONTGOMERY BURNS

• "Daaah! Sixty watts? What do you think this is, a tanning salon?" (46k)
• "...Yes, you're in deep doh now." (192k)
• "As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague." (119k)
• "Hello, Smithers, you are quite good at turning me on..."
• "...Tell you what. We come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke." (192k)

WAYLAND SMITHERS

• "I think women and seamen don't mix." (86k)
• ("...Use the amnesia ray.") "You mean the revolver, sir?"... (113k)

BARNEY GUMBAL

• Trademark belch (6k)
• "...Yeah, where can I fill it up?" (84k)
• "Whoa! Someone smells stinky...oh, it's me." (72k)
• "Man, you'd never get me into a ring - boxing causes brain damage." (glug, glug...) (43k)
• "...Is that a new kind of mace? Really painful." (123k)
• "Hey Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply..." (178k)

KRUSTY THE CLOWN

• Trademark laugh (36k)
• "Guess who, fat boy!" (16k)
• "I could pull a better cartoon out of my a-he-he-he..." (63k)
• "I contend that those tourists were decapitated before entering the Krustyland House of Knives." (41k)
• "...Every time you watch my show, I will send you forty dollars." ("Checks will not be honored.") (78k)

LIONEL HUTZ

• "I move for a bad court thingy..." (55k)
• "That's why you're the judge and I'm the law...talkin'...guy..." (55k)
• "Uh oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder..." (165k)

McBAIN (RAINIER WOLFCASTLE)

• "Ya, dat's nice." (38k)
• "Now, my Woody Allen impression..." (49k)
• As a stand-up comic (217k)
• Rehearsing "Up and atom!" (114k)
• "...They appear tied, but I will go in for a closer look...upon closer inspection, these are loafers." (244k)

GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY

• "You'll pay for this, with your childrens' blood!..." (82k)
• "And that's how Willy waters. Now you take the huse..." (114k)
• "Lunchlady Doris, do you have any grease? . . . Then grease me up, woman!..." (41k)
• Willy attempting to save the Simpsons in three Halloween episode skits (563k)
• "Make way for Willie!" (thud) "I said make way for Willie, you bloated gasbag!" (77k)

MOE SYZLAK

• Moe taking a lie detector test (295k)
• "To Moe, from your secret admirer..." (92k)
• "And these ones are smarter than the average bears - they swiped my pic-a-nic basket." (47k)
• Moe looking at a wall (183k)

TROY McCLURE

• "...I'll leave you with what we all came here to see...hardcore nudity." (90k)
• "...You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner." (50k)
• "...As 'Alien Nose Job' and 'Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show'." (113k)
• "...I can't remember when I've heard a funnier anecdote..." (63k)

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

• "And with a flute up his nose, Ralph Wiggum..." (66k)
• "...Not into the kindergarten!..." (123k)
• "All honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archaeological dig..." (106k)

KENT BROCKMAN

• "Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who has been hiccupping for 45 years..." (71k)

OTTO

• "Cool!" (24k)
• "Oooh, another acid flashback. Man, I'd hate to be driving a bus right now." (60k)

MAYOR QUIMBY

• "I admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies..." (106k)
• "Ich bin ein Springfielder!" (25k)

DR. NICK RIVIERA

• "Hi everybody!..." (38k)
• "The knee bone's connected to the something..." (126k)

HANS MOLEMAN

• "Well, you're definitely doing your job today, Mr. Sun..." (68k)

REVEREND LOVEJOY

• In the Garden of Eden (464k)

CAP'N PETE

• "Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Aargh." (46k)

SNAKE

• "Wallet inspector..." (79k)

THE BEE GUY

• "Ay, no es bueno." (26k)

SIDESHOW BOB

• "I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever..." (114k)

DR. HIBBARD

• "...And invalids prefer to be called Sons of the Soil, but it ain't gonna happen." (46k)

ITCHY & SCRATCHY

• Theme song (75k)

RALPH WIGGUM

• "...Me fail English? That's unpossible." (252k)
• Trying out for Fallout Boy (158k)
• "...My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have new one?" (92k)
• "So...you like...stuff?" (54k)
• "My cat's breath smells like catfood." (23k)
• "When I grow up I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar..." (93k)
• "I bent my wookie!" (9k)
• "...And I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me." (23k)

MARTIN

• "I am the wondrous wizard of Latin..." (96k)

NELSON MUNTZ

• "Ha ha!" (11k)

JIMBO JONES

• "Now I don't believe in nothing no more...I'm going to law school." (35k)

MILHOUSE VAN HOUTEN

• "Yeeeeeeeees?" (13k)
• "School's out! Up yours, Krebopple!..." (206k)
• "...Rememer ALF? Well he's back. In pog form." (84k)

BART SIMPSON

• "Aye carumba!" (8k)
• "Ow! Quit it." (16k)
• "Augh! My ovaries." (40k)
• "Lookin' for a spot of fun with the missus, eh guvnah?" (35k)
• "Nice try, Mr. Flanders..." (32k)

LISA SIMPSON

• "...The next time we fall asleep we could die..." (67k)

MAGGIE SIMPSON

• Sucking on her pacifier (.au)(13k)

MARGE SIMPSON

• "Tacos...public broadcasting...I won't let you kids throw away your money like that." (40k)

HOMER SIMPSON

• "D'oh!" (5k)
• "Woohoo!" (8k)
• "Why you little!" (9k)
• "...Aw, Twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut..." (209k)
• "Hello, operator, give me the number for 911!" (27k)
• "Woohoo! Look at that blubber fly!" (28k)
• "Bor-ing." (7k)
• "...Woohoo! Four day weekend!" (54k)
• "Homer, I owe you one emergency donut, signed Homer..." (72k)
• "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women." (77k)
• "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" (71k)
• "...because YOU have a gambling problem." (157k)
• The Flintstones theme (201k)
• "...Purple is a fruit." (77k)
• "Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, bottle of Old Harper..." (183k)
• ("Take this object, but beware, it carries a terrible curse.") "That's bad..." (227k)
• "...I'm going to punch George Bush in the face..." (112k)
• Homer and Apu talking to the CEO of Kwik-E-Mart (150k)
• "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college!" (99k)
• "Bart, you didn't finish your spaghetti and moeballs!" "Quiet, you fool, they could be ours..." (147k)
• Homer plays Blackjack (67k)
• "...How is education supposed to make me feel smarter?..." (133k)
• "...Oh no, her clothes are coming off!..." (107k)
• Talking to Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins (41k)
• "...Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again?..." (129k)
• "...It's not whether you win or lose - it's how drunk you get." (48k)
• Homer states his view on statistics (57k)
• "...It's a hellhole. And you know how I feel about hellholes..." (125k)
• "Ok brain. You don't like me and I don't like you..." (83k)
• "Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a q-tip." (15k)
• ("It's easy to criticize.") "Fun, too." (15k)
• "All my life, I've been an obese man trapped in a fat man's body." (41k)
• "He came to life. Good for him" (63k)
• "...You can't handle the truth!..." (198k)
• Homer's plan to avoid the comet (196k)
• "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it..." (104k)
• "There, there, shut up boy . . . Rats! I almost had him eating dog food!" (665k)
• "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me..." (116k)
• "You're living in a world of make believe..." (75k)
• "Here are your messages. You have thirty minutes to move your car..." (161k)
• "No TV and no beer make Homer something something..." (145k)
• "Ah! They're dogs, and they're playing poker..." (103k)
• "...That was the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked..." (91k)
• "...Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids - eat them!" (57k)
• "...Hello Dean, you're a stupidhead." ("Homer, is that you?") (65k)
• Speaking in old english (320k)
• "You suck-diddly-uck, Flanders!" (21k)
• "Oh, Lisa, you and your stories - Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells..." (130k)
• "I saw weird stuff in that place last night...and I want in." (83k)
• "...Ooh, I'm making people happy!..." (185k)
• "In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!" (62k)
• ("...You can't put a price on your family's lives") "I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are." (100k)
• "...I'm not going to lie to you, Marge...so long!" (104k)
• "Stupid bug, you go squish now!" (83k)
• "You know when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt..." (170k)
• "Sweet merciful crap!" (14k)
• "Mmm...forbidden donut." (59k)
• "Mmm...sixty-four slices of American cheese." (25k)
• "Mmm...unprocessed fish sticks." (54k)
• "Mmm...crumbled up cookie things." (23k)
• "Mmm...invisible cola." (16k)
• "Mmm...organized crime." (14k)
• "Mmm...urinal fresh." (23k)
• "...Mmm...open-faced club sandwedge." (84k)
• "Mmm...I can feel three kinds of softness." (92k)
• "Mmm...something." (27k)

SIMPSONS

• "Doh!" "A deer!" "A female deer." (20k)
• "...I'll trade this delicious doorstop for that crummy old danish." "Done and done..." (.au)(130k)
• "Dad, we did something really bad..." (90k)

OTHERS

• THE COMIC BOOK GUY - "No. Now go away. We are racing for the title of Champion of the Universe." (37k)
• THE COMIC BOOK GUY - "Are you the creator of Hi and Lois, 'cause you are making me laugh..." (176k)
• FAT TONY - ("I thought you said Troy McClure was dead!") "No, what I said was that he sleeps with the fishes." (59k)
• STORE OWNER - "...A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies." (44k)
• KANG - "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons." (42k)
• Good bye from everybody (151k)

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